Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
