You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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