I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize