You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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