last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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