come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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