Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize