I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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