I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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