Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
