i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
It's Friday. Sex?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
