You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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