i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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