He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
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the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
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He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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