guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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