After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
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I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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