just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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