One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
How does one acquire holy water?
Randomize