3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
