i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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