The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
