Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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