Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
