I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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