her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize