People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
