Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
