I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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