Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our cab driver is having phone sex.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize