i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
