My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Alive.
So much puke
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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