okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
