Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
