dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Is Oprah even human
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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