who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
