Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
