We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
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