Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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