did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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