Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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