Kareoke will never be a sober sport
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
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Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
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i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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