what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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