I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
