Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
