we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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