ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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