I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack