Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
