Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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