Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
