I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
