Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
there is glitter all over my balls
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
