Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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