"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
