Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
