Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Even my vagina gasped.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
