weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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