I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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